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New Business

Considering my love for everything circuitry, it’s a wonder I haven’t opened my own kiosk to offer up products of my own.  I thought about how I would do it exactly, too.  More »

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Finding a Place Where You’re Happy

Making sure that I get what I need out of the time I spend with other people can be something that is tough for me. I tend to be one of those More »

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Crazy Fashions

Living in the city means that you will get to see some unusual people. I was talking to someone the other day who was telling me that they wanted to get solid More »

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Looking at this

During a trip to the store I was looking at some places that were on a poster on the wall that I thought looked like they would be fun to go and More »

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Another Place To Try Something Else

For my upcoming excursion I think I am going to go somewhere I have not gone to based entirely on what I think I would experience. Depending on what I decide, however, More »

Walk Away

walking away

The situation:

“Well it’s a couple of things I guess. Mainly she thinks she isn’t good enough for me; she’s a little self conscience although I think she’s beautiful, and she feels that she needs to be “more successful” in order to be with someone like myself.

A little back story: I asked her out a day before she had to go away for a month (didn’t know obviously), so we got to know each other a bit via chatting and stuff. When she got back she said that she wasn’t ready to start dating, so I said no problem when you’re ready I’m here. We keep in touch but I still haven’t gone out with her because she refuses to see me even though she really likes me.

She then tells me that she’s been in some bad relationships before, and has a habbit of getting close to guys and then “going numb”, loses feelings for them and ends up hurting them. I’m trying to convince her that it doesn’t always have to be like that, and that I’m willing to work with her to make things work etc…

At times she’ll just get upset at me for no real reason, I think just to distance herself or “protect me” I dunno.

I really want to help her, I’m giving her her space and not trying to force things, as well as trying to convince her to be fearless and try to break her toxic habits with relationships. I’m just at a loss right now, what should I do?”

The reply:

Everyone wants a partner who’s “better than they deserve”; it’s a romantic relationship, not a business deal. When she says she feels like she isn’t good enough for you, that is just an excuse to tell you to go away without saying it directly. She doesn’t want you. From the sound of it, she has a history of attracting men who gently-yet-persistently refuse to take “No” for an answer, and she tolerates it as long as she can until she can’t stand it anymore. That is a much more plausible explanation for her “going numb”.

She’s getting upset “for no reason” because she doesn’t want you, and you’re not getting the message. Maybe she doesn’t consciously realize she doesn’t want you, so she can’t put it into words, or maybe she *does* consciously realize it, but she doesn’t want to say so because she’s afraid you’ll get angry, because deep down you think she owes you something in return for all the attention you’ve given her. Despite what your conscious intentions might be, you’ve already proven that you don’t really care about her feelings, or you’d have gone away and minded your own business already.

She doesn’t need a man to help her solve her problems. She is a human being just like you are, and she can solve her own problems. Unfortunately, you are one of her problems, and you are refusing to be solved. Stop wasting your time with her and go searching for someone who can’t wait to spend time with you. It might take ten years of being single before you find one, like it took me, but being single is better than being frustrated.

Lucid Dream Experiences

themoon

I have a book about it called “Experiences Beyond the Body” which tells stories about astral projection and also has some exercises and teaches you how to do it.

I’ve never been able to successfully project, although I first heard of it 15 years or so ago and have gone through periods where I would try for a while.  Here are my experiences:

When I was younger I used to have lucid dreams from time to time.  They were awesome and I loved them.  I didn’t know what they were at the time, however.

Later on as a teenager I got more interested in this stuff.  Of course, as a teenager, as soon as you become lucid in a dream you turn it into a sex dream.  Don’t laugh, you know it’s true!  You probably still do it, too, even as an adult.  Anyway, the lucid dreams became less and less frequent.  At this point, when I became lucid, it was a struggle to not become excited and wake myself up.  That’s a common problem, too; as soon as you realize you’re lucid you wake yourself up.

I learned some tricks to prolong the dreams.  If you are lucid and feel yourself starting to wake up, there are some techniques you can do in dream to help keep yourself dreaming.  The two that I tried were 1) demanding “clarity now!” in your dream.  Think it.  Say it.  Make it your sole intention.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it works momentarily and you still wake up, and sometimes it doesn’t work.  2) spin around.  Seriously.  Whatever you are doing in your dream, just start spinning.  Sometimes it works, and sometimes not.  But if you know you’re about to wake up anyway you might as well try it.  There are more techniques which you can find by Googling.

Sometimes I would experience what is referred to as partial lucidity.  It’s when you kind of know you’re dreaming, but you’re either not 100% aware, or you are aware but cannot fully take control of it.  It’s like your mind is working against you.

Sometimes, usually in the morning like if I wake up but stay in bed, I would get that “falling” sensation.  I have heard that this can be a predecessor of an astral projection, so I would try to work with it.  Sometimes I can feel myself kind of floating in my room, but I can’t see anything.  Sometimes I end up dreaming in this state.  Sometimes I end up dreaming that I am in my room, perhaps what I am imagining an astral projection would be like.

I have also had a similar thing happen at night, where I feel like I am floating, but it’s a scary, uncomfortable feeling.  And usually I can’t see anything.

I have also felt the vibrations and heard some strange rushing noises, which they say are precursors to astral projection, but sometimes they kind of freak me out and I snap out of it, and other times they just fade away.

There seem to be two schools of thought about what causes this.

1) it’s something metaphysical

2) it’s just something going on in your brain

People who think it’s just something in your brain also tend to dismiss near death experiences (NDEs) as just the brain shutting down.  There are also reports of people experiencing NDEs from stimulation to certain areas of the brain.  However, I read something suggesting that perhaps in those cases, the stimulation was triggering the natural events that happen when you die: sort of “hacking” the brain.  So yes, it might be caused by electrical stimulation in a lab, but it’s an actual process that is being activated (although obviously not to completion since the person didn’t die).

Responsible With Money

piggybank

Well, some of you may know my personal history some may not. After my parents separation and divorce when I was 8 or 9 things went downhill fast in my life. Things were already bad but I was too young to know much different…

After the divorce we were poor, living literally on ramen noodles or bread and butter the last few days of every month. My mom hit welfare for awhile but got off as fast as reasonably possible (within a year). But things were probably worse after that because then we couldn’t afford jack. Mom spent what little money we had poorly, giving away 20, 30 or 40% of our gross income to tv preachers and random people she met. Raising three kids on 12, 15 or 18k/yr (plus another 9,000/yr child support) and giving away 5,000 to 10,000 made it rough.

From a young age I began working pretty hard, working for my grandparents at their house and at their business (they were doing very well) so that I could get money for Sega and Nintendo games. I remember at the age of 12 or so working a solid 40 hours one week to get enough money for Aerobiz on Sega Genesis and a watch I wanted at JC Penny, seems like I pulled down a whopping 120-150 dollars that week. I’ve been fascinated and in love with watches from a very young age.

Needless to say I paid attention to what my parents did and did not do right from a young age. I asked my grandpa a LOT of questions and loved going to have coffee (I ate donuts) with him and his friends from a very young age. Listening to those old men, I felt I soaked up a lot of knowledge on real life issues. I also feel this has served me rather well in my life. From a young age both my parents and grand pa said get an education and work hard. So I did just that. Now I’m 30, married with a kid and if things go well at work the next few months we will pay off our house.

I have a few expensive hobbies including home theater and watches. I just ordered an Omega Planet Ocean which set me back about $3,400 bucks (haven’t paid for it yet but will in a few weeks when it arrives).

I was talking to my brother earlier, talked to him about some large bonuses I’ll be receiving by the end of the year and told him I ordered a new watch and he asked about it, ask what it costs and then basically said I was an idiot and had lost touch with my roots. Well I don’t want to be “in my roots” but I don’t want to forget them. I don’t want to waste money but I want to enjoy the fruits of my labor. With no debt other than our house and that looking like it’ll be gone in April (unless something falls through on a business deal which is highly unlikely at this point), I don’t feel I’m living extravagant. My wife and I drive decent cars nothing super nice (both Mazda’s). We live well below our means…

His rather abrupt comments made me step back and question my lifestyle. I logically don’t think I’m doing anything wrong but was rather off put when my brother told me I was living like a jackass…